coffee stains

Alot of people commented that the movie was weird, not typical hollywood, blah blah blah. EXACTLY! It wouldn't be an M. Night Film if it were your typical suspense/horror slasher/gore-fest flick.I didn't get bored watching this movie and it's refreshing to see something original every once in a while. Even the cinematography had shyamalan's signature all over it. Visit http://www.mnight.com/lady_in_the_water to read more about the film and the writer-director. Your thoughts?

I want to erase you from my consciousness. To my utter frustration, you remain--stubborn as the stains from the coffee we once shared...pesky as your child-like mindtrip.

It was lovely to hear your voice again. It still never fails to soothe me whenever you sing for me--or that's what I want to think. Secretly I wished that the heartfelt words were for me, that I am the one that you loved. Somehow, somewhere I foolishly discerned that this was possible but after all this time I realized...I am just a fall back girl and nothing more.

Latte – mild enough to be comfy with though it could get boring that you need to add a little flavor to it and it doesn’t really keep me awake. Besides, I just hate waiting around for all that milk to steam. Caffe Americano – Strong, potent...I want more yet too much of it could make my heart palpitate with such vehemence. Just thinking about it jolts me back to my senses.

I can feel their eyes on me...watching my every move...ears keen on every bit of the conversation. The fat chick is glaring at me. Something in the way she is studying me from head to foot makes me want to rip out her eyes from their sockets and pull out her unkempt bleached hair from her head. The dude near the gutter is stealing glances. He's probably just passing time like the rest of us who are stuck in this brunchtime traffic. Jaw dropped...hanging on to the discussion I was having with my sibling. Like a spectator at a tennis match who doesn't really get it. I just wish that people would be more discreet when listening to other people's conversations. So this is how it feels to be under a microscope.

My soul longs for him in his absence Yet my heart, the worn-down shelter Remains the docile ally of My mind that mocks me. Scars from two transient seasons haunt me... Possess me with Such fierce recollection Each time I wander to the edge-- Hurling me back to my sedated realm. It turns out, there could be Beauty and Simplicity in oblivion.

Lately, my life has been a blur of a multitude of tasks at work. I'm kept partly sane by a 100 peso worth White Mocha Americano. Call me a caffeine junkie but there's nothing like warm coffee to soothe me and jolt me awake. If there's something else tangible in my life that keeps me from going over the edge, it's a person that I've relied on for emotional support. Unlike the potent coffee I crave for, this person will not give me heart trouble or disrupt my sleep. Or so I thought... Today, I am resisting the urge to take in my usual dose of caffeine for health and financial reasons. At the same time, I'm struggling to exist without him as he has chosen to desert me at a time that I'm needing clarity. Sleep has temporarily left me while he, perhaps, has chosen to answer my questions by allowing me to unravel the obvious on my own. I realized that coffee will never leave me. I have chosen to rid my system of it. I, in turn, have been neglected by this person I...

Do not feel pity. Do not show mercy. Just break me once... Hurt me with one blow. You only get one shot at Ripping my heart out and Trampling on it. When all this is done, You've done your part and Have proven your point. Let me be and Let me heal.

For the past 4-5 months, I've been battling with myself. Trying to put reason behind the seemingly endless cycle of indecipherable emotional affairs. I've gotten so bogged down that the simplest thing that gives me bliss is doubtful, every chance I get, every gesture, no matter how sincere it could possibly be, seem too good to be true. Call me paranoid but it just hurts to think that after all this time, I’m still easily exploited… I’m not really asking for much. I just want confirmation. I can't afford to have false hopes. I don't need to harbor wrong expectations. At the back of my head, I'm thinking...I don't want to be wrong again...Too much energy will be spent decoding stuff when my life is already complicated as it is. I just don’t want to be fixated on the thought of being made whole by something that, for all I know, only exists in my over-active imagination. But on the brighter side, I can only be a buffoon for so long. When I reach my threshold and d...

Why don't you just let him go, April? A friend of mine asked me. Stop hurting yourself. Don't make the same mistakes that I did. I looked at her in disbelief. It was as if she were just asking me to cut down on caffeine or choose between tall or grande. I could tell by the look on her face that she wasn't kidding... Thoughts raced frantically in my head. Let go? Now? How? I could not imagine life without him. Damn! I am not exactly addicted to him like the coffee I gripped firmly in my hand. How do I get over someone who makes me in the main happy yet causes me emotional torment every once in a while? Call me paranoid but there’s no denying that he’s not the same. Why else would I miss him despite his presence? I have this gut feeling that I am this close to being just a speck in his universe. Nevertheless, I’m still aching for a sign that would tell me not to give up just yet. The feeling of uncertainty is driving me insane. I recklessly revealed my feelings without ge...

If there's one thing that I wish I could do right now, it would be to turn back time. I can only flinch at the thought that things are now completely different between us. I see him several times a week, get to spend time with him yet he seems distant in a way. We laugh, have our usual conversations, walk alongside the other yet, despite his nearness, I'm missing him terribly and inside, I feel like I have lost a huge part of what I was. I guess if you've been hurt before, you simply can't help but put your guard up--denial your primary defense mechanism. Fate might already be handing you that chance to be happy but you just fuck it up with your pride and the nonsensical need to save face. All this would seem rational at that moment but would be utter bull once you realize what you’ve just thrown away. Where do I stand in his life? What am I for him? Questions that lead to more questions. I could ask but it wouldn’t make sense anymore. He would probably laugh at my foo...

Love is a game that I carelessly take part in. Despite past injuries, I remain a player. I've faltered yet I've been unyielding. I've embraced it as a part of my existence. Loving fills part of the void in my soul, being loved back completes me. Uncertainties can break me. insensitivity can tear me to shreds. While those supposedly make me stronger, it is never easy to appear unaffected and to pull back when you have given a little bit too much of yourself.

If there's anything I hate about myself right this moment, it's the fact that I have not completely learned my lesson. It has been drilled down to my head--supposedly--that I should never expect to avoid disappointments. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT EXPECT anything until a possibility has been confirmed or better yet affirmed as the real deal. It is only wise to hold back when faced with uncertainty. In my case, I have already taken too many steps towards the edge of the cliff, ergo, the need to pull back. The excitement and all the drama make it hard for me to move away. There are stories with predictable endings. I'm hanging on the edge and I'm losing my grip...

I listened to his heavy breathing on the other end of my hands-free receiver. Sigh! A few more minutes before the line got disconnected and he had drifted off to slumber. It hurt to think that he would sometimes cry himself to sleep. He has always been there for me through my ups and downs. I would often gather my strength from him and I’ve always admired him for his courage and valued his opinions. Listening to him cry and talk about his life’s struggles tore my heart to shreds. He’s such a good person, and whatever life he led, people had no right to judge him and he most certainly deserves to be happy. It was not his choice, he said. I think he deserves more respect than some people—individuals that our deranged society considers normal. As I tried to grope for words of comfort to mutter, tears welled up in my eyes. I wish I could take away his pain…I wish I could make all his problems disappear yet It dawned on me that I couldn't. I can only try to ...

Somebody asked me before whether I would chase after the person I love or go with the one who loves me, both being one-way. My answer back then was NEITHER. I don't have the heart to lie about my feelings and I have enough self esteem so I don't intend to chase after someone who clearly doesn't need me in his life. If you would ask me again, I would choose the person who loves me. I am no martyr but I also don't have a heart of stone to not appreciate the simplest effort and small things someone would do just to make me happy. It feels wonderful to be loved and it's not always impossible to learn to love that person back in the long run. What more if he was constantly there to comfort you while you were depressed over that other guy who doesn't even deserve you... Should this be the case,just enjoy the company, don't expect nor demand too much. At this point, the possibilities are endless.

What is it that endears a person to you? Could it be the kind gestures, the close encounters or maybe the things that you have in common that could play with your thoughts and toy with your emotions, making you wonder--could the feeling be mutual? Out of nowhere, anything he does or say to you could possibly mean something, conversations are dissected, you try to read between the lines. Oh Well, most realizations will not be pleasant...it could hit you like a blow to your face. Today, it just dawned on me that such false hopes are bred by your desperate longing to be loved back, that it clouds your mind, probably making you see things the way you want to see them. The answers to your unending questions could be right there before your eyes but you're just too blind to see.

NOUN 1. type of drink: a highly alcoholic liqueur tasting of aniseed and made from wormwood and herbs. Absinthe is now banned in many countries because of its toxicity. Love is like absinthe, strong, intoxicating and potentially dangerous to one's health. Shouldn't love be banned? It's easy for one to say that he would never fall in love again but once faced with another chance at love, can't keep away from it. The cons may overweigh the pros but still, isn't love all about taking risks and making sacrifices? These may be risks and sacrifices that won't necessarily help you end up together. Risks may involve losing someone's trust, destroying your friendship, depression and sacrifices would mean, being someone's scratching post, doing everything to make another person happy, losing sleep to spend time with that other person...sigh! The list goes on. But in the end, we just smile foolishly to ourselves and the hope lives on.