coffee stains

I felt the intoxicating brew course through my system as the music pounded my eardrums. Everybody seemed to find the fist fight outside amusing. The crowd cheered and stood on their benches to get a good look at the troubled teens throwing futile punches at each other. How cliche, I thought, yet I was trying to wash away my own troubles with the sweet, strong potion. Drink, they said. Be merry! Enjoy the company of true friends and the amazing view in red, stealing glances. It made me think, but I had a momentary relapse. So what? My thoughts were preoccupied with one face that will subsequently haunt me no more. How long will this last? The excruciating feeling of acrid dismissal yanked my heartstrings then I snapped out of it.

A diversion...a temporary ploy to escape my pained existence. Distractions come and go, filling the gargantuan hole in my being but at the end of the day or the verge of consciousness, I could possibly still long for the things that are bad for me. The wound is still here. It hurts less by the day. Sure, I'm a fast healer and I know the void will eventually disappear but I am, for now muddling through--right here, right now.

"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together." (Anonymous) I completely agree with this. Sometimes, we try too hard to make a relationship work and we only end up being bitter or frustrated in the end. Most of our efforts may not really be given due appreciation. Sometimes we point fingers in the end. Even a masochist should know when to let go. Sometimes we need to give ourselves a break, take a moment to stand back and look at things from a different perspective.

it's just like any injury, you feel numb at first but then the pain spreads slowly like venom. You wait in silence until you are completely consumed by it.

I’ve written numerous entries about unrequited love on my blog. Most of us have had our fair share of stories to tell about this subject. A cliché subject, yes, if what you have in mind is this typical scenario: A loves B but B loves C or simply doesn’t feel the same way. If you are not a masochist, you’ll probably feel bitter; go through the usual detox process and that's it! Not much harm done. Have you ever experienced unrequited love while in a relationship? If you have, you know that the pain seems embedded into your very core, incapacitating you to a certain degree. It is simply because you have invested so much emotionally and have gotten so used to having the other person around. You were so wrapped up in your made-up world to notice. Perhaps you didn’t see the telltale signs. Certain circumstances could’ve clouded your judgment or how you chose to react. It’s too late. The truth collides with your artificial universe, leaving you stupefied. It is rather horri...