Wake Up & Smell What's Brewing...

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Lately, my life has been a blur of a multitude of tasks at work. I'm kept partly sane by a 100 peso worth White Mocha Americano. Call me a caffeine junkie but there's nothing like warm coffee to soothe me and jolt me awake.

If there's something else tangible in my life that keeps me from going over the edge, it's a person that I've relied on for emotional support. Unlike the potent coffee I crave for, this person will not give me heart trouble or disrupt my sleep. Or so I thought...

Today, I am resisting the urge to take in my usual dose of caffeine for health and financial reasons. At the same time, I'm struggling to exist without him as he has chosen to desert me at a time that I'm needing clarity. Sleep has temporarily left me while he, perhaps, has chosen to answer my questions by allowing me to unravel the obvious on my own.

I realized that coffee will never leave me. I have chosen to rid my system of it. I, in turn, have been neglected by this person I thought I was important to.

I learn most things the hard way yet I'd rather pursue the painful truth than live a lie and face an even greater heartbreak later on--when I have given so much and it's almost unimaginable to detach myself.

I can still have the coffee I want. But not even countless of espresso shots can wake me...

This time, I'm on my own.

Comments

Anonymous said…
"So what happens now?..."

I wanted to comment at you blogs for the longest time yet I'm at a lost on what to say... I hope this works...

I do not want to sound like a preacher with a sermon. But in times like this, when I have no one to turn to, when I feel that even my best friend has deserted me, I go to the one place where I am most alone yet in good company... The Blessed sacrament.

I know, I know, I sound very religious and all that. However, when your heart is pouring out and no one listens, who else do you turn to? Where else do you go?

Sometimes, life can be a whirlwind of crazy, irrational events and most of the time we are all lost in the pandemonium. During those times isn't it comforting to know that somehow, somewhere life actually have directions.

All we have do is stop and know where and who to ask... but then again who do we really ask? What do we say?

I guess a good question to ask at this point, is not who or what we give up, but what or who do we give ourselves to?

As Evita would put it... "So what happens now...?"
11:53 AM
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