I want to erase you from my consciousness. To my utter frustration, you remain--stubborn as the stains from the coffee we once shared...pesky as your child-like mindtrip.
I agree a hundred percent that when you fall in love, you fall hard that you can almost hear the sickening thud when this happens and the feeling just creeps up on you when you least expect it. Wether or not you willfully embrace the thought, in the end, you just give in to the fact that little by little, this other person is slowly becoming a part of you.
There is no question why every word he says, every thing he does affects me. I can only be at ease when I know he's there. It doesn't even matter if he feels the same way. As long as I have him near I feel complete. As long as I know he cherishes me in some way, I feel alive.
I got myself a diversion to escape my madness and the one I was trying to evade has just become my diversion for my diversion. Hah! How crazy but true! Just to elaborate and further confuse you, I liked Guy A , but then I said to myself that he would never like me the way I liked him and decided to find another..eherm...inspiration.
I don't think I will ever learn my lesson. I know that one of the worst ways to get over someone is to condition myself to like someone else...especially if you happen to just notice someone by accident. I got the chance to get to know Guy B better and he turned out to be really sweet, sensitive and we have a lot in common. I developed a humongous crush on him but then, things start to get weird...there's the crazy jealousy, my sudden poetic frenzy and the pathetic longing to spend as much time with him as I possibly could. I couldn't go any further. One more step and I'd be falling off the cliff. It would be so wrong to entertain my fe...
Comments