coffee stains

When I feel their eyes on me, I can almost hear their thoughts. They are probably waiting for me to make a wrong move or do something controversial so they would have something juicy to talk about. They expect me to be predictable, to always go for the obvious choice. They were right about a few things, smelled the gyst of some but they craved to tweak the details for their own enjoyment. They got one of the biggest stories distorted. If there are three versions of that story out there, only one is correct--MINE! This confuses another part of the population because of yet another myth about me. Oh well. They say that you are nobody if you are not talked about. I just hope that the next time you hear something in the grapevine, you will use all logic and reason before deciding who are what to believe in. You might just find yourself in my shoes one of these days.

There is an unmistakable tension between us lately. The force is unseen yet stands in my way like a monstrous, breathing barrier. Could it be paranoia, guilt or my suppressed feelings bursting at the seams? Emotions struggling to be made known... I feel like I've done my part--maybe not enough but I've done as much as my norms would allow. Maybe even a little beyond that. It's really up to him to decipher the signs. What if he has broken the codes but he didn't like what he found out? There is no time to regret things that cannot be undone. I think i have enough sense to know a brush-off when i see one :(