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snakes & ladders

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As I clutched my 2nd cup of coffee in my hand, It dawned on me that the strong brew cannot rouse me from my jaded state. Neither can it fully wake me to face the merciless realization that I just stumbled upon. Once again, I am on my own, walking along the edge of waking and my sordid dreamscape. It doesn't hurt when I’m asleep but the same delusions still haunt me once in a while. Time has started to heal my wounded heart but the path to recovery is full of pitfalls and deceptive contraptions. This is just like playing a board game: one bad throw of the dice and I could stumble several steps back. If worse comes to worst, I could even end up in the beginning. Only one thing is acceptable at this point: I'll give it my best shot and play only to win .
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I’ve written numerous entries about unrequited love on my blog. Most of us have had our fair share of stories to tell about this subject. A cliché subject, yes, if what you have in mind is this typical scenario: A loves B but B loves C or simply doesn’t feel the same way. If you are not a masochist, you’ll probably feel bitter; go through the usual detox process and that's it! Not much harm done. Have you ever experienced unrequited love while in a relationship? If you have, you know that the pain seems embedded into your very core, incapacitating you to a certain degree. It is simply because you have invested so much emotionally and have gotten so used to having the other person around. You were so wrapped up in your made-up world to notice. Perhaps you didn’t see the telltale signs. Certain circumstances could’ve clouded your judgment or how you chose to react. It’s too late. The truth collides with your artificial universe, leaving you stupefied. It is rather horri...
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I felt the intoxicating brew course through my system as the music pounded my eardrums. Everybody seemed to find the fist fight outside amusing. The crowd cheered and stood on their benches to get a good look at the troubled teens throwing futile punches at each other. How cliche, I thought, yet I was trying to wash away my own troubles with the sweet, strong potion. Drink, they said. Be merry! Enjoy the company of true friends and the amazing view in red, stealing glances. It made me think, but I had a momentary relapse. So what? My thoughts were preoccupied with one face that will subsequently haunt me no more. How long will this last? The excruciating feeling of acrid dismissal yanked my heartstrings then I snapped out of it.
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