Coffee & Chat

Why don't you just let him go, April? A friend of mine asked me. Stop hurting yourself. Don't make the same mistakes that I did. I looked at her in disbelief. It was as if she were just asking me to cut down on caffeine or choose between tall or grande. I could tell by the look on her face that she wasn't kidding...

Thoughts raced frantically in my head. Let go?

Now? How?

I could not imagine life without him. Damn! I am not exactly addicted to him like the coffee I gripped firmly in my hand. How do I get over someone who makes me in the main happy yet causes me emotional torment every once in a while? Call me paranoid but there’s no denying that he’s not the same. Why else would I miss him despite his presence? I have this gut feeling that I am this close to being just a speck in his universe. Nevertheless, I’m still aching for a sign that would tell me not to give up just yet.

The feeling of uncertainty is driving me insane. I recklessly revealed my feelings without getting even a letdown to help me move on. I am more lost in the whole situation than I ever was. I am not asking for much, really. I’d rather be scorned or turned down than wait excruciatingly in vain.

I was once standing on the edge, about to lose my grip. Unfortunately, no one can save me now but myself. I have slipped and succumbed to the inevitable.