coffee stains

Love is a game that I carelessly take part in. Despite past injuries, I remain a player. I've faltered yet I've been unyielding. I've embraced it as a part of my existence. Loving fills part of the void in my soul, being loved back completes me. Uncertainties can break me. insensitivity can tear me to shreds. While those supposedly make me stronger, it is never easy to appear unaffected and to pull back when you have given a little bit too much of yourself.

If there's anything I hate about myself right this moment, it's the fact that I have not completely learned my lesson. It has been drilled down to my head--supposedly--that I should never expect to avoid disappointments. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT EXPECT anything until a possibility has been confirmed or better yet affirmed as the real deal. It is only wise to hold back when faced with uncertainty. In my case, I have already taken too many steps towards the edge of the cliff, ergo, the need to pull back. The excitement and all the drama make it hard for me to move away. There are stories with predictable endings. I'm hanging on the edge and I'm losing my grip...