coffee stains

Why don't you just let him go, April? A friend of mine asked me. Stop hurting yourself. Don't make the same mistakes that I did. I looked at her in disbelief. It was as if she were just asking me to cut down on caffeine or choose between tall or grande. I could tell by the look on her face that she wasn't kidding... Thoughts raced frantically in my head. Let go? Now? How? I could not imagine life without him. Damn! I am not exactly addicted to him like the coffee I gripped firmly in my hand. How do I get over someone who makes me in the main happy yet causes me emotional torment every once in a while? Call me paranoid but there’s no denying that he’s not the same. Why else would I miss him despite his presence? I have this gut feeling that I am this close to being just a speck in his universe. Nevertheless, I’m still aching for a sign that would tell me not to give up just yet. The feeling of uncertainty is driving me insane. I recklessly revealed my feelings without ge...

If there's one thing that I wish I could do right now, it would be to turn back time. I can only flinch at the thought that things are now completely different between us. I see him several times a week, get to spend time with him yet he seems distant in a way. We laugh, have our usual conversations, walk alongside the other yet, despite his nearness, I'm missing him terribly and inside, I feel like I have lost a huge part of what I was. I guess if you've been hurt before, you simply can't help but put your guard up--denial your primary defense mechanism. Fate might already be handing you that chance to be happy but you just fuck it up with your pride and the nonsensical need to save face. All this would seem rational at that moment but would be utter bull once you realize what you’ve just thrown away. Where do I stand in his life? What am I for him? Questions that lead to more questions. I could ask but it wouldn’t make sense anymore. He would probably laugh at my foo...